I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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