Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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