Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?