It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
