Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
These tits shall not be calmed
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