I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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