It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
