Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
