I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize