Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Randomize
