Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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