gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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