He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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