i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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