OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
i think we sleep fucked last night...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
