ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize