I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
