So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
