you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
