Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
