dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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