My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
