I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
