I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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