1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Still dying that you shit outside
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Randomize
