a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Come on in and take your pants off
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