Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize