He is like the real live version of the state fair..
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
