Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
