That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize