Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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