giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
