I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
