i just wanna soil my oats bro
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
