Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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