Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize