my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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