Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
