I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
