Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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