i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
