Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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