i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize