.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
