operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
