One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
