I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
