My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
