Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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