craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We have so much sex to catch up on
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
