Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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