I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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