i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
