Swine flu. Run for my life!
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
whose parrot is this?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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