Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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