Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize