He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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