i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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