Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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